PULLING OUT MY HAIR

A great example of pull-out-my-hair-in-frustration.

When I left Tanna there were still problems with the local electric company. Before I started work they had installed a serparate power box that was supposed to save us money. During the peak season we would use a 25-amp supply which charges us a FAT monthly minimum - something we can ill afford. During the off season we would switch to a basic 5-amp supply that allows us to use pre-paid cards with NO monthly minimums. I would buy these cards only when I needed to use the computer or turn on the lights.

Before the end of the season I checked in the with local Unelco manager and asked him if everything was cool with getting the power supply switched and what I needed to do to make that happen. He clearly said everything was good to go and all I had to do was let him know and it would happen the same day. So on the last day of the season that's exactly what I do. But when he comes to the factory he tells me the factory isn't connected to the new power supply and that I needed to hire an electrician to do the job and that it was my problem not his. Then I tell this story to the head of the agriculture department who insists that it's not our problem and that he'll get Unelco to come out and solve the problem.

At this point we aren't using any power so all I'm thinking about is that we have only 3 more days before the next billing cycle kicks in and we get charged the monthly minimum.

One week later the agriculture guy tells me he was wrong and that we need to hire someone to do the work. So we got screwed for December, and now it's too late to do anything else as I'm in crunch mode preparing to get ready for my trip to Vila. I tell the Unelco guy that we can fiddle with the specifics when I get back, that I don't want the factory to incur any further charges, and for him to just "shut off the power".

Additionally we still had the problem with them adding a past-due amount to every bill.

So when I packed for Vila I just grabbed the Unelco folder with all our bills and reciepts and decided I would just take up the issues with someone at the head office. And that's what I just did today.

And guess what?

Turns out when you tell them "Shut Off The Power" it means they shut off the power, but not the bills. Boy - the FRENCH sure are clever! They told me since I didn't say "Cancel The Contract" that they continued to charge us the monthly minimum. She could clearly see the "what-the-fuck?" expression on my face. I asked if she was kidding.

And then she laughed right at me! She wasn't kidding.

I said "excuse me for not knowing the magic words, but it would seem that a reasonable person would understand that "shut off the power", especially in the time and context it was used, would clearly mean the same thing as "cancel the contract" or whatever other wording you need to hear so that we don't incur any further charges - which was obviously my priority when I made my request to the Tanna Unelco manager".

Sorry, she says.

Then she could see me clench my jaws and tighten my fists, and certainly she could see the smoke coming out of my ears and the red swirls in my eyes. I was incredulous.

Then she laughed nervously and tapped away on her computer when we started to talk about the billing error. Seems they mistakenly double billed us one month. We then mistakenly double payed before noticing the error (this happened before I arrived). Instead of recognizing that they had double billed us they instead took our double payment and applied it to a security deposit which had never been paid. This so called "bond" was never mentioned on any bill and they didn't indicate that we still had an outstanding balance. So then the next month when I realized we double payed I simply deducted the amount from the current bill and submitted that - with their approval. So now, and for every month that followed, it appeared as if we still owed this amount.

Turns out we owed them some huge deposit, plus two months of bills that I tried in vain to avoid, plus the past due amount that I had deducted from a bill in May.

Now get this: When I said the magic words - cancel our contract - she told me I would now be credited the total amount of the deposit that had been paid in 2005 which was never returned to the factory. Astounding! And shocker of all shockers: this was more than enough to cover all the other charges with money to spare. Of course we will need to pay a new deposit in May, but that won't be a problem.

Holy mamma - I hate utilities.